What are you going to do about it? Every baby gets those.

Wrong. These cats were for killing vermin outside. Guy should have got a couple of big dogs.

Source: kept a bunch of barn cats alive for many years in coyote country.

She thinks you are not many things

The Buddha would disagree.

That’s not gibberish, those are hilarious jokes using sophisticated vim commands. Here’s another, which you have no hope of understanding, but vim users will love:

:%s/ass/butt/g